This genuine disappointment makes me want to write at this time

This genuine disappointment makes me want to write at this time

This deepest disappointment has developed to be the disappointment of MYSELF

Therefore I need to write

I need language to ease the pain of feeling disappointed

I am so disappointed that I could not express it with tears

Even tears drop from my eyes

It is only for the sake's of doing it

It has no meaning

No expression

Just disappointment

My brain will(is) no longer function properly if this disappointment stays

I thought I can impress myself

Impressively

But no

Not surprisingly

I want to stop this

This endless disappointment

This cruel disappointment is slowly killing me

I am quietly waiting for its end

There is an end that I truly believe

In what way

How

And when

I know there is an end

As if it is the last page of a book

Never repeat reading the bad book

This disappointment is like a book with good opening and a bad ending

I started picking it up again after a good while ago

It is not a bad book at all

I read it from a new perspective

A perspective with terrible memory

I forgot what is the beginning

I thought it doesn't matter

But I misunderstand the whole story

I disrespect the book

And myself

As a reader

As a learner

I feel disappointed by disrespecting the book

I am disappointed by disappointing the book

This utter

greatest

disappointment

Will sleep along with me in this awful dark night

I took pity of myself
I took pity of myself
I took pity of myself

How can I not be disappointed?

Empty your mind, be formless,shapeless, like water- Bruce Lee

李小龍的哲學不只反映在武術上,在人生道理以及種族問題上都有好深的見解
他用淺白的詞語帶出令人難明的道理 其實都離不開'平衡' '不偏激'等等意思
正正同他本人身為一個美籍華人 不中不西的特點互補 有時候做人時常被夾在中間
身為香港人 在香港這前英國殖民地 現在要懂得說普通話去招呼內地人的地方
不中不西 缺乏個性 但偏偏我認為這也是特式 要利用這個特式去化解好多社會上的矛盾
在影片中主持人一直把握機會以一些有關語言,國籍,身分認同的問題去諷刺李小龍
李大方又很玄地續一回答 主持人當然不明白 李不是想主持人明白 那些只是回答這些敏感話題的方式 沒有真正去接觸其他文化的人是不會明白的

我在方內想著圓 意圖令方變成圓

空間是四方的

我用我的眼睛將它滾入眼簾

變成圓的

我用我的腳隨意跟著空間走一圈

令它變成圓的

我用照相機的正方視窗看著空間的一面牆

但鏡頭始終都是圓形地把光攝入

照片中的空間浮現在一個隱形的圓圈內

圓形的框與方形的分別

再不是面積的問題了

而是你想我看到什麼

以及我想你看到什麼

我製造一些透明而且圓形的丙烯酸框

利用光投影我想的景像去表達'觀看'的寓言

那些框的用途已不再只是阻擋賓體周圍的空間(negative space)

更是暴露實體的空間

這樣的框究竟是什麼

它們的一切身分都依靠著光的出現

以及觀眾所在的位置


丙烯酸圓框的表面會反射光/投影

空氣與四周的輕微動靜使懸掛的框慢慢旋轉

丙烯酸的反射瞬間 光所降落的地方會啟動其他實體

如果空間是另外一個實體 

反射光像畫一個圓圈地揭露著空間

無論是水平與垂直

都是一個個害羞又挑皮的圓圈

responding to the 'Where is my studio space?'

(could be the reasons i want the new book from Eliasson)

I remember in my mother language, there is always an old saying: One objects can provide two perceptions. When I was doing my foundation year, I found it in the nature of photography. I took a picture of the Big wheel in the city centre; the big wheel was under deinstallation, I thought it is so interesting in its form and the stillness of being a wheel without the entire structure. The photo was developed and placed on my desk under desk lamp the other night, I realised the stillness is even more obvious; the stillness of a void pervaded in my room from the photo inside. I couldn't tell if the big wheel was being installed or deinstalled anymore. The photo has no space for time to give me any knowledge but clearly I understand it is a photo, the camera captured a particular moment of time. It is the past.
However I think photography is not enough to express this sense of paradox. It even overlaps the sense of time and confuses the viewers in a way that getting the wrong information.
I don't consider myself as an artist to tell viewers any information. It is more like showing an situation, an unknown state. A live installation with object components in a space allows viewers to decide what they want to believe. Imaging if I move the big wheel into a project space, removing all those workers,
almost like viewing a photo, only the photo becomes a live picture with the eyes of frame from viewers.

I suppose the two perceptions don't need to be paradoxical, as long as they are different to each other.
Because then art is very powerful to show things are not what we think they are, or even beyond the territories and floating in between the possibilities. Unknown is a way to know more. Showing an unknown stage is to understand uncertainty can allow us to know more.

In everyday life, we see things that are not what they are. The earth spins but we don't seem to see that.
But around sunrise and sunset, we understand the earth is spinning. So every day we are living in a space of illusion and reality. We choose to believe what we can't see. I enjoy walking and finding places in a city, with my sense of direction or a help of maps. I hate google maps, I never use it in my phone. I don't want to be told I am in where i am, I want to find out where I am. Unless I am very hurry, I will ask for help. But the funny thing is, since living in a foreign country and travelling in big cities, it is sometimes very hard to find a local. Anyway, I enjoy finding and exploring. I know when I have found the place, the way I did won't be the only way and there would be a shortcut.
Result isn't matter too much, the most important is to find the destination with senes, sounds contradicted, doesn't it?

Yesterday I attended a lecture, and usually I carry a drinking bottle with me. The bottle has its logo, and  very interestingly the time when i looked at it, the water level was right under the logo. I wondered does it relate to the never-settled idea of 'half empty or half full' glass of water. But I was like, 'Yea, but the logo just ruin the whole thing, apparently it is half full.' Because the logo tells me the sense of direction, information. I was kind of refused to think like that, because I like the coincident a lot. It could take ages to find out how many times do I need to drink in order to get the right water level.

I still think it is half empty hahaha.....

in the top 1 of my book wish list

my artist website

http://www.yeengaifu.com/

Together they swim swiftly

If guitar indicates penis, then the bass must be the vagina.
Together they swim swiftly.

Study2 under the typhoon no.9

" I would like to make sense of the work by sensing the work."
-Olafur Eliasson

thoughts under typhoon signal No.9

I thought light is already quite 'formless' as a medium in art.
After reading the latest review of the new Turbine Hall( The Unilever series) association in Tate Modern, i can't wait to go there and this time, not just sitting on the cold concrete floor but walking with the artwork and listening to it.
Tino Sehgal is the first artist who brings intangible works- stories to the great big inspiring space, he has performers to be the stories teller, to every visitor.
Usually we view works either in the hall or stand right back on the balcony, taking an example of the last piece- a massive vertical projection to show tributes to a dying medium- film, by Tacita Dean, visitors sat or stood in front it while viewing, children bouncing around happily, couples embracing with arms around each others. Audiences became part of the work when they were viewed from the above; but still we were looking at the same direction, viewing a tangible artwork.   To compare with Sehgal's work, it is very confusing to define what and where is the artwork. He takes the idea of interaction of individual and groups to the maximum, with very simple material, us- humans, the audiences. We are the artwork. We are the subject and so the object. Visitors go in and the story teller without any hints of identification approaches, telling you his most personal story, asking you questions like' When did you feel a sense of belonging?', these interesting encounters will surely make me think of a doing a proper self reflection. Knowing a bit of the artist's background, who has been living in a foreign country for many years, similarly to the fact that i had spent few years in the UK, well only for studying, i got attached to his straight away. Thinking I was leaving my own motherland, sitting in the coach station when waiting for the bus to Nottingham with absolute anxiety and shivering because of the temperature difference, but very soon i saw many people there were just like me. The emptiness was getting much greater, and as if there was a sound behind me telling to get use to the fact or you will have to suffer more.

I really enjoy spending an afternoon in the Southbank, let alone the Tate modern. Although it is getting much commercial, this thought is apparently came from the two popular solo exhibitions there( Yayoi Kusama and Damien Hirst), it still has a space to the public to get in touch with art( like the new space, tank), and most importantly for free. I was reminded HK is attempting to create a cultural space which is reference to the Southbank, for sure I have only disappointment and no expectation at all. Seeing those extremely tall luxury residences are being built up rapidly in such small city, art is seemingly the last thing to think about. I wonder how i can take a break or some fresh air between those skyscrapers here.  

Stereo Total

Tennis

I just love their music, especially her voice. And today i found out they have such great story behind. The vocal Alaina and the guitarist Patrick are married couple, and before they had formed the band, they went on a boat to sailing for 8 months, and returned on land, they decided to make music that inspired by their traveling.

I miss the sea and ocean so much...

Level2 Interrogating context writing

Mapping the mental perception in a space.

Perception

Pronunciation: /pəˈsɛpʃ(ə)n/

noun

·       the ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses: the normal limits to human perception

·        awareness of something through the senses: the perception of pain

·       Psychology & Zoology the neurophysiological processes, including memory, by which an organism becomes aware of and interprets external stimuli.

·       the way in which something is regarded, understood, or interpreted

In presenting context writing I mentioned about Repetition in relation to an approach to a new way of thinking. By describing different contexts, I shown how different senses can affect one’s perception; I suppose I was trying to say, repetition suggests time is no longer important but its existence. A new perception is extended from an autonomous perception. Which I have found its similarity to Buddhism thinking, but here I would like to focus on Carlo Bernardini’s work and using Buddhism as a lens to see his work, and open it up with questioning how does these affects the relation of the work and viewers’ perception.

“ Shadow and light are visible, although both are formless. Shadow is the dark projection of things. It occupies the other side of matter, increasing the perception of its existence, while remaining evasive and uncontainable.”[1]

Carlo Bernardini has high awareness of the relation of  ‘Light and shade’; shading enhances objects’ existence, shadow tells us information of what it belongs to, take an example of one of Bernardini’s work (the above pictures), ‘PROGRESSIVE CODE OF THE SPACE ‘2009 shows the relationship between light and shadow, and transforming to the further stage: the mental side of the artist, his perception of seeing in a space. The triangle electroluminescent surface and its shadow are corresponding to each other within a shape, but the optic fibre ‘light lines’ are showing the ‘second visual condition’ that jumps out from the primary vision (2D), giving viewers an infinite points of observation, that travels perceptively around the space.

Benardini almost takes down every physical representation, using light lines as the ‘betweener’ of light and shade, as it were, just like what Buddhism believes its existence is located between the ‘Self’ and the nature. Self means realization;“Whatever we see is changing, losing its balance. The reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance, but its background is always in perfect harmony. This is how everything exists in the realm of Buddha nature, losing its balance against a background of perfect balance. So if you see things without realizing the background of Buddha nature, everything appears to be in the form of suffering. But if you understand the background of existence, you realize that suffering itself is how we live, and how we extend our life.” [2]
The realization from the perception in Buddhism is an experimental approach to the understanding of the universe, in order to perceive everything from the emptiness, the beginning. It is an on-going life practice; we discover, understand, realize through experiences and most importantly, standing in a position that assuming not knowing at all. Similarly, Bernardini’s mysterious visual language is in a way showing the basic autonomous idea of light and shade; his own understanding of it is immaterial, attempting to approach the unknown area that is always existed invisibly. His works push against the limit of perceptions; a different position with different viewpoints, to see the whole view is to step outside of the work.

He once stated that corresponding the above idea; “In the visual Language between us and that part of us that emerges in image there is a no man’s land whose secrets we endeavor to find out… In such conditions the intrinsic interest of the images does not, therefore, lie in metaphorical or allusive aspects, but solely in its purely visual value, beyond which there may be nothing.”[3] This again shows that the notion of invisibility and thoughts provocative from visual essences.

‘Division of visual unity’ 2000] intrigues me to investigate Bernardini’s way of thinking, which based on his belief of art practice is not a ‘result’, a river that never stops moving. His works is static but with a notion of dynamic repetition, an endless journey from centripetal to centrifugal. ‘Division of visual unity’ 2000 is a sculpture with stainless steel and optic fiber, the former is visible by day and the latter is visible by night.  At the moments when the sun becomes to set, the work immerses into a piece; Bernardini is asking viewers to combine the inner and outer as a whole, or to look at it from the external then moving to the internal, Vise Vera, until when there is sunrise again, a relative perception in terms of repetition. “ This process of form fading to give birth to other forms is of course reversed at sunrise”[4], the artist has inserted a poetic and immaterial concept with the infinite rule of nature within the work.

I found this similar to another medium: looping moving image; both of them are not mattering when you will see it, it matters if you stay longer with them, and realize something that are essential and the subtle changes, to gain knowledge from not knowing when is the start and the end. It is also playing around with the idea of expectation; Bernardini’s outdoor sculpture gives viewers different unique sensations, therefore every time the work looks different; since the work is located outside, with different sky, or amount of people, etc. Repetition provides infinite possibilities of interpretations; with a different context, the space becomes the environment. The particular point of observation is depending on the movement from viewers. “Every viewpoint becomes internal to the totality of the work: it may take in the global installation or close in on details of the structure with superimposition and fragmentation, possibly even losing sight of the whole.” This notion of being lost in an almost timeless and measureless space is somehow coincide with the emptiness idea in Buddhism. Every part of the work is a totality of itself and a totality as an installation; the artist is blurring the line between sculpture and installation, a sort of space in a space, this helps to approach to the mental endeavour of the artist. 

Light as the intangible source, it always exists with an object and the shade. Bernardini takes away the physicality and shade, only leaves the light in his work; thanks to the technology of optic fiber that looks like a line is self- illuminated. I can imagine if I am in his installation ‘PROGRESSIVE CODE OF THE SPACE ‘2009, I will be immersed in it and keep questioning myself how would those lines be lighten up, and where are the light sources? Is it an illusory? I remember John Berge has mentioned in his book ‘Ways of seeing’: “ We never look at just one thing, we are always looking at the relation between things and ourselves.” [5] If I were in the installation, can I see myself as the shade of those lights? Or how should I address myself as an audience of the artist’s mental stage? If I were the artist, how would I visualize my imagination to viewers? And how would they visualize mine from the work I made? I suppose these questions would most likely to be raised when I am out of the installation; an immersive installation won’t let audiences to reflect or even think, it is a strictly delivery of the artist visual, immaterial mind. We as viewers will only think of those questions when we are out of it as we might start to have awareness of once being lost; and the solution might be to try thinking like the artist, to engage in the artist’s perception, and transforming it into ours. But in Bernardini’s works, the perceptive options are open; this implies the interactive opportunity of mental by physical movement or vision.

I suppose it never comes to an end when talking about a mental situation, because it is always changing. Space affecting man’s feeling, sensation physically and mentally; therefore perception is changed. Viewers stepping into the installation, as if being mapped in the artist’s brain; walking around and thinking the relation between themselves and the work, wondering what will happen when stepping out of the work, would it change the way we see in the reality?

“The viewer’s response to a work’s presence is sometimes dependent on the work’s familiarity, its resonance with our own experience. Yet it is also at times its unfamiliarity that has the most profound impact on our experience. “To some degree we become artists ourselves as we undertake this integration,” John Dewey tells us about perceiving something that stands beyond the realm of what we know. Through perception “our own experience is re-oriented.” And it is this experience that is “far more efficacious than the change effected by reasoning, because it enters directly into attitude.” Experience of art can be transformational experience.”[6]

To refer back to the Buddhism thinking, to achieve a greater thinking is to go beyond the physicality and the experiences; experiences can tell us what are the mistakes we wouldn’t want to make again. The area is very far away from the reality, but the practice of us or like art practice of artists can help us to go closer or get to the direction to it. What Bernardini is making is only the process to an unknown mental stage that his intuition drives.

Bibliography

Bass. J and Jacob M, 2004, Buddha Mind in Contemporary Art, University of Carlifornia Press

Berge. J, 1972Ways of seeing, BBC

O.F Bollnow, 2011 Human Space, Hyphen Press

Artist Writing, http://www.carlobernardini.it/File_uk/TESTI_INGLESE/WRITINGS_OF_CARLO_BERNARDINI.pdf [accessed on 2.4.2012]

Critical Essays, http://www.carlobernardini.it/File_uk/TESTI_INGLESE/CRITICAL_ESSAYS.pdf [accessed on 2.4.2012]

Cora. B, 2009, Carlo Bernardini: Space Designed by light

Caramel. L, 2006, The other side. The perception of the invisible and the immaterial

Ferrario. R, 2003, Light works/Light sculptures

Perilli. N,2003 Light system

---

[1] Carlo Bernardini, ‘Hypothesis for the division of visual unity’ 1995

[2] Shunryu Suzuki, quotation in article ‘In the space of art’ by Mary Jane Jacob

[3] Carlo Bernardini, ‘Beyond the visual there may be nothing’2009

[4] Carlo Bernardini, ‘Sculpture Project’ 2001

[5] John Berge, ‘Ways of seeing’

[6]  Mary Jane Jacob, ‘In the space of art’

maya lin, the art of landscape

http://www.mayalin.com/

摩摩愛人

maya lin is an architect and artist, i am so moved by her simple landscape artworks.
she is the niece of linhuiyin, who is said to be the first female architect in China.

i just like the way she talks, calm, powerful and confident

i find her way of obsessing in earth curvature, (cause technically we as human can't see it, like a flat global), is so similar with James Turrell's idea of viewing the landscape as if it is a curve physically,
it is playing with the perception of how we see the nature and how is it so different from its actual appearance.

James Turrell The Carter Lip

James Turrell creates a circular frame for us to view the sky

sometime when i look at the map too much, i will easily forget the earth is a globe, a ball, this idea is so fascinating to me, we as human, create map to make our lives more convenient, but in a way, we changed the whole thing of the earth, we put our perception on it, but what if we are all in the universe?
like astronauts, they fly up to the universe and view the planet as a real and original form.
i really thanks James and Maya to remind me that they are not as what we see they are.

夏令來了 但是鼻塞聞不到太陽的味道

今日時間又鬼鬼祟祟地快溜了一個小時
昨日病昏午睡的時間 天還亮 窗正開著 蒙蒙糊糊以為自己在香港的家中
有點像因頻換房間睡覺 張眼望天花板 花大概一秒多去認清自己在哪
電影對白也經常出現如 燈 嗯 書架 嗯 杯 嗯 everything is checked i am in my bloody room
通常如果隔離有人 就不會那樣混肴
其實有時這樣小小故事重組 好好笑 我從未試過飲醉斷片 我想大概好似上面所講那樣吧

daylight saving time so from now on i have lost an hour on every day or have i actually had 
the extra hour at all?
so much things to do, so little time///////////

Self illumination//Self realisation

Self illumination//Self realisation 

Video projections, wood sculptures 

2012

Dorothy Fu

An endless night

There is a hang Rhythm

Prolong the lives of fireflies

Syzygy

By looking at the side view of Sy, Zy, Gy

I realise

I illuminate

胡說一通, 嘗試用文字將它形容出來

不知在什麼時候 我對一種莫名的感覺感到興奮
它大多是在我失落過後 又或是一個人在發呆的時候出現
但是最令我對它著迷通常是在悲痛過後

只是數秒的畫面 例如我在火車車廂裡凝視車廂中的物件 配合車外飛奔的風景
我仿彿覺得時間停頓 有一股超強的安全感包圍著我 它是氾濫的 令我不禁全身雞皮疙瘩
在那瞬間後 我只知道原來當世事萬物變幻無窮之際 靜物們告訴我 有些事和物是不會變的
也許那就是我自身 自身還健在 就懂得欣賞失落與痛苦的美麗
佛學說所的世界就是這無邊無際的空間 無始無終的時間 無量無數的眾生 悉依因果法則而生而有變而滅 


我發覺我對這種好玄 好虛無的東西著迷 甚至有些上了癮 亢奮的感覺
每次都想把這種感覺留長一點 今晚又出現了一次 奈何每次只出現幾秒
那怕只是數秒 也就成了我下秒繼續下去的推動力
可笑的是 失落愈大 這種有如離心力般的亢奮感就愈大
有一點變態地想一直自甘墮落下去
反正花會開到荼蘼 高潮過後一片死寂 但若世界就如佛般說
無始無終 世界一大循環 又有什麼是可怕的 終結就是開始
等如我覺得我的樂觀是由於我的悲觀 若不明白黑色的黑 又怎能了解白色的白 


人們覺得荼蘼是美麗及獨特 就是因為它懂得寂寞 它選擇在花季的最後才開花
勇敢地表現自己心知明白世界的因果法則而活下去 我就是喜歡它那種淒美的姿態

as if the way i look at you

輕輕地一筆一筆素畫你地頭髮
寶貝你的眼睛目不轉晴地望著我
as if the way i look at you

畫時狂LOOP這首 管他腦袋閉塞