This genuine disappointment makes me want to write at this time
This deepest disappointment has developed to be the disappointment of MYSELF
Therefore I need to write
I need language to ease the pain of feeling disappointed
I am so disappointed that I could not express it with tears
Even tears drop from my eyes
It is only for the sake's of doing it
It has no meaning
No expression
Just disappointment
My brain will(is) no longer function properly if this disappointment stays
I thought I can impress myself
Impressively
But no
Not surprisingly
I want to stop this
This endless disappointment
This cruel disappointment is slowly killing me
I am quietly waiting for its end
There is an end that I truly believe
In what way
How
And when
I know there is an end
As if it is the last page of a book
Never repeat reading the bad book
This disappointment is like a book with good opening and a bad ending
I started picking it up again after a good while ago
It is not a bad book at all
I read it from a new perspective
A perspective with terrible memory
I forgot what is the beginning
I thought it doesn't matter
But I misunderstand the whole story
I disrespect the book
And myself
As a reader
As a learner
I feel disappointed by disrespecting the book
I am disappointed by disappointing the book
This utter
greatest
disappointment
Will sleep along with me in this awful dark night
I took pity of myself
I took pity of myself
I took pity of myself
How can I not be disappointed?
