This genuine disappointment makes me want to write at this time

This genuine disappointment makes me want to write at this time

This deepest disappointment has developed to be the disappointment of MYSELF

Therefore I need to write

I need language to ease the pain of feeling disappointed

I am so disappointed that I could not express it with tears

Even tears drop from my eyes

It is only for the sake's of doing it

It has no meaning

No expression

Just disappointment

My brain will(is) no longer function properly if this disappointment stays

I thought I can impress myself

Impressively

But no

Not surprisingly

I want to stop this

This endless disappointment

This cruel disappointment is slowly killing me

I am quietly waiting for its end

There is an end that I truly believe

In what way

How

And when

I know there is an end

As if it is the last page of a book

Never repeat reading the bad book

This disappointment is like a book with good opening and a bad ending

I started picking it up again after a good while ago

It is not a bad book at all

I read it from a new perspective

A perspective with terrible memory

I forgot what is the beginning

I thought it doesn't matter

But I misunderstand the whole story

I disrespect the book

And myself

As a reader

As a learner

I feel disappointed by disrespecting the book

I am disappointed by disappointing the book

This utter

greatest

disappointment

Will sleep along with me in this awful dark night

I took pity of myself
I took pity of myself
I took pity of myself

How can I not be disappointed?

Empty your mind, be formless,shapeless, like water- Bruce Lee

李小龍的哲學不只反映在武術上,在人生道理以及種族問題上都有好深的見解
他用淺白的詞語帶出令人難明的道理 其實都離不開'平衡' '不偏激'等等意思
正正同他本人身為一個美籍華人 不中不西的特點互補 有時候做人時常被夾在中間
身為香港人 在香港這前英國殖民地 現在要懂得說普通話去招呼內地人的地方
不中不西 缺乏個性 但偏偏我認為這也是特式 要利用這個特式去化解好多社會上的矛盾
在影片中主持人一直把握機會以一些有關語言,國籍,身分認同的問題去諷刺李小龍
李大方又很玄地續一回答 主持人當然不明白 李不是想主持人明白 那些只是回答這些敏感話題的方式 沒有真正去接觸其他文化的人是不會明白的

我在方內想著圓 意圖令方變成圓

空間是四方的

我用我的眼睛將它滾入眼簾

變成圓的

我用我的腳隨意跟著空間走一圈

令它變成圓的

我用照相機的正方視窗看著空間的一面牆

但鏡頭始終都是圓形地把光攝入

照片中的空間浮現在一個隱形的圓圈內

圓形的框與方形的分別

再不是面積的問題了

而是你想我看到什麼

以及我想你看到什麼

我製造一些透明而且圓形的丙烯酸框

利用光投影我想的景像去表達'觀看'的寓言

那些框的用途已不再只是阻擋賓體周圍的空間(negative space)

更是暴露實體的空間

這樣的框究竟是什麼

它們的一切身分都依靠著光的出現

以及觀眾所在的位置


丙烯酸圓框的表面會反射光/投影

空氣與四周的輕微動靜使懸掛的框慢慢旋轉

丙烯酸的反射瞬間 光所降落的地方會啟動其他實體

如果空間是另外一個實體 

反射光像畫一個圓圈地揭露著空間

無論是水平與垂直

都是一個個害羞又挑皮的圓圈

responding to the 'Where is my studio space?'

(could be the reasons i want the new book from Eliasson)

I remember in my mother language, there is always an old saying: One objects can provide two perceptions. When I was doing my foundation year, I found it in the nature of photography. I took a picture of the Big wheel in the city centre; the big wheel was under deinstallation, I thought it is so interesting in its form and the stillness of being a wheel without the entire structure. The photo was developed and placed on my desk under desk lamp the other night, I realised the stillness is even more obvious; the stillness of a void pervaded in my room from the photo inside. I couldn't tell if the big wheel was being installed or deinstalled anymore. The photo has no space for time to give me any knowledge but clearly I understand it is a photo, the camera captured a particular moment of time. It is the past.
However I think photography is not enough to express this sense of paradox. It even overlaps the sense of time and confuses the viewers in a way that getting the wrong information.
I don't consider myself as an artist to tell viewers any information. It is more like showing an situation, an unknown state. A live installation with object components in a space allows viewers to decide what they want to believe. Imaging if I move the big wheel into a project space, removing all those workers,
almost like viewing a photo, only the photo becomes a live picture with the eyes of frame from viewers.

I suppose the two perceptions don't need to be paradoxical, as long as they are different to each other.
Because then art is very powerful to show things are not what we think they are, or even beyond the territories and floating in between the possibilities. Unknown is a way to know more. Showing an unknown stage is to understand uncertainty can allow us to know more.

In everyday life, we see things that are not what they are. The earth spins but we don't seem to see that.
But around sunrise and sunset, we understand the earth is spinning. So every day we are living in a space of illusion and reality. We choose to believe what we can't see. I enjoy walking and finding places in a city, with my sense of direction or a help of maps. I hate google maps, I never use it in my phone. I don't want to be told I am in where i am, I want to find out where I am. Unless I am very hurry, I will ask for help. But the funny thing is, since living in a foreign country and travelling in big cities, it is sometimes very hard to find a local. Anyway, I enjoy finding and exploring. I know when I have found the place, the way I did won't be the only way and there would be a shortcut.
Result isn't matter too much, the most important is to find the destination with senes, sounds contradicted, doesn't it?

Yesterday I attended a lecture, and usually I carry a drinking bottle with me. The bottle has its logo, and  very interestingly the time when i looked at it, the water level was right under the logo. I wondered does it relate to the never-settled idea of 'half empty or half full' glass of water. But I was like, 'Yea, but the logo just ruin the whole thing, apparently it is half full.' Because the logo tells me the sense of direction, information. I was kind of refused to think like that, because I like the coincident a lot. It could take ages to find out how many times do I need to drink in order to get the right water level.

I still think it is half empty hahaha.....

in the top 1 of my book wish list